YaadeiN azaab hotiN haiN_afsaana

[kanwal_khushboo]

YaadeiN azaab hoti haiN,.....

Mujhe agar yaad hai to bas itna,...ke tumne mujhe apni majbooriyoN ka rona roke thukraaya tha,...Mujhe yaad hai to bas itna ke tumne mere ehsaasaat o jazbaat ko nazar andaaz kiya tha...Kya bhool gaye wo aakhri mulaqaat?,.... HaaN....tumn kyuN yaad rakho ge wo to mujhe yaad hai aur aaj bhi mere taswar ki vaadiyoN meiN jab wo parchhaiyaN lehraati haiN to dil ke samandar meiN kayee talaatum umadne lagte haiN.
uss pal jab maine tumheiN rokna chaha tha magar lafz the ke saath chhor gaye aur main tumheiN jaane se na rok paayee. mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai wo lamha jab mera dil chah raha tha ke tumhara haath pakar ke rok looN ke please na jaoN. main kaise jiyoN gi tum bin ,.. khudaara mujh pe itna zulm mat karo..... tumne mujhe apni zindagi kaha tha. aaj tumhari zindagi tumheiN pukaarti hai,... khudaara na jao... main mar jaaoNgi tum bin magar tum ik pather ki tarah sirf sunte rahe.
tumheiN na mere aansoo rok sake aur na meri aaheiN tumhare paaoN ki zanjeer ban sakeiN. Main kaise bhulaa dooN wo lamhe jab maine ghar tak ka safar sadyoN ki musaafat meiN te kiya tha, kis tarah aaj bhool jaaoN wo lamha jab ghar meiN main nahiN balke aik zinda laash dakhil hui thi.... jaan thi ke jism se meri unglyoN ki poroN meiN aa ruki thi aur yuN lagta tha jaise in poroN se jaaN nikle gi aur main wahiN dam tor dooNgi.....
magar dekho na...... kambakht yeh jaan bhi na nikli tum bin,....

Mujh se kehte ho main bhool jaaoN..... bolo meri jaan! kaise bhool jaaoN main wo lamha jab tumhare jaane se mere qadmoN ne mera saath chhor diya aur mera chalna doobhar ho gaya. Kaise bhool jaaoN ke ghar pohnchte haiN bistar pe yuN giri main ke jaise ab uthooN gi hi nahiN,...

main kya hooN? kiyonN hooN? kahaN hooN kuch bhi to hosh nahiN raha mujhe,.... Mujhse kehte ho main bhool jaaoN kaise bhool sakti hooN kayee din mohabat ki aag meiN jal ke guzaare ke raakh ho gayee ,.... tum ne mujhe zindagi, jaan kaha tha magar dekho na?..... jaan kehna kitna asaan hai...aur samjhna kitna mushkil... tum mujhe jaan samjhte to iss tarah mujhe zinda dargor na kar dete .... jaan to maine tumheiN samjha tha..... Zindagi to maine tumheiN banaaya tha. meri khaamishi ko tumne humesha haaN samjha jab ke khamoshi majboori ka naam bhi hua karta hai..... main humesha har baar khamosh rahi ke shayed tum khud samjh jao,... tum mere dard meri takleef ko jaan jao,... mere dil ki nanhi nanhi khahishoN ko samjh jao,...magar afsos sad afsos ke na tum meri ankahi samjh sake aur na meri kahi.... Na mera dard samjh sake aur na meri takleef ki khabar hui tumheiN... tum jo kaha karte the ke jaan tumheiN main tumse ziyada jaanta hooN samjhta hooN....

teri har ankahi ko mera dil pechaanta hai magar itni si baat na tum samjh sake ke mohabat jitni gehri hoti hai. Isske chheene jaane ka khauf bhi itna hi gehra hota hai. Tum itni si baat na jaan sake ke mohabat ka satoon aitbar par hota hai aur tumne issi satoon ko tor diya. tumhare jhoot ne sab kuch tor diya..... tum lamha ba lamha, lehza ba lehza mujh se jhoot bolte rahe .apne jhoot ko sach banaane ki khaatir tumne mujhe ghalt saabit kar diya.... tumheiN maine ameen banaaya tha magar......

Dil,..aitbaar,...baat,...har waaada, kisi ka bhi to paas na raha tumheiN...kaash ke tumheiN wadoN ka paas hota, apni kahi baatoN ka paas hota, kaash tumheiN meri har baat jo amaanat thi tumhare paas uska paas hota, humari mohabat ka paas hota... magar tumheiN kiyonkar ho sakta hai tumne to yeh seekha hi nahiN....

tumheiN to mere aansoo khushi dete rahe, tumhare dil ko to yeh dekh kar taskeen pohnchti rahi ke koi dil o jaaN se tumheiN chahta hai. tumhare liye rota hai,... girgiraata hai,... haath jod ke iltija karta hai,.. mohabat ki bheek maangta hai aur tum pather ke devta ki tarah mere naazuk dil pe waar karte rahe aur main kisi paagal pujaaran ki taraH tumheiN poojti rahi bina yeh soche samjhe ke pather sirf zakhm de sakte haiN,... zakhmoN pe marham nahiN rakh sakte. main be los pujaaran ban ke pooja karti rahi tumse kabhi kuch na maanga tumheiN dekh dekh kar jeeti rahi, tumheiN kya pasand hai kya na pasand sab ka khiyaal rakhti rahi, tumhari khushi ko apni khushi samjha,... tumhare gham ko apna gham samjha. tumhari har baat ko apni zaat tak mehdood rakha, tumhari har baat ko tumhari amaanat samjha.

APne dil ka sab ehwaal kaha. tumheiN apna samjha apni shakhsiyat ka aks samjha lekin phir bhi tumne ji bhar ke mujhe dukh diye. meri mohabat ka mazaaq bana gaye tum aur mujhe zinda maar gaye ... magar apne zoam meiN tum yeh bhool gaye the ke tumhari pujaaran ne mohabat meiN mitna to seekha hai, par apni aur apni mohabat ki tazleel karna nahiN.... tum bhool gaye ke nafrat bhi issi se hua karti hai jis se kabhi sab se ziyada mohabat hua kare. aur tum achi tarah jaante ho ke aurat agar toot kar mohabat karna jaanti hai to is se bardh kar nafrat karna bhi jaanti hai. aur aaj mujhe tumse tumhari har baat se nafrat hai tumhare khiyaal se , tumhari zaat se nafrat hai,... main tumse kitni nafrat mehsooos karti hooN tum khud se isska andaaza bhi nahiN kar sakte.... aur sab se barh kar mujhe khud se nafrat hai ke maine tumheiN chaha tumheiN jo kabhi meri aankhoN meiN tumhare taswar se hi kayee deep jal uth te the. shayed aaj tum in aankhoN meiN chhupi nafrat seh na sako.... kaash main bhi be wafa larkiyoN ki taraH sab kuch bhulaa deti aur apni nayee zindagi ka aghaaz kar leti magar main iss dil ka kya karti jo sirf tumhare naam se dharkana jaanta tha..... Mera khuda jaanta hai ke iss meiN meri koi ghalti na thi, yeh mohabat karna na karna apne bas
meiN kab hota hai... jaane kis se kahaN kyuN aur kab ho jaaye aur dil ko kisi ki kaunsi adaa bhaa jaaye yeh to diloN ke maamle hua karte haiN na?,...

Magar tum kya jaano..... tumne to kabhi mujh se mohabat ki hi na thi.... na kabhi tumko meri chaahat thi.....na kabhi tumko meri tadap hui. aur kabhi tumko meri khahish thi hi nahiN aur na kabhi tumko meri zaroorat hui......Par main kyuN apne dil ka haal keh rahi hooN yeh sab tum ko kyuN likh rahi hoon???.....

Jab main tumheiN yeh khat post karne jaaongi hi nahiN. to kyuN apne dil ka dard kaaghaz pe undel rahi hooN shayed iss liye ke mujhe aaj bhi tumse mohabat hai ...... shayes iss liye ke main chaah kar bhi tumse nafrat na kar saki..... ya phir iss liye ke yeh kaaghaz tumse behtar hai kyuNke yeh mera dard apne andar samo le ga, isse apna samjhe ga isse apni zaat meiN khabo le ga.... haaN yeh kaaghaz tumse behtar hai jo mera saathi hai mera raazdaaN hai,...Mera jeene ka sahaara hai, wafaa ka paas rakhna isse aata hai yeh mit to sakta hai,..jal to sakta hai,..phat to sakta hai magar iss pe dil ki tarah jo aik baar likh diya jaaye woh mit nahiN sakta.... mitaa bhi diya jaaye to bhi nishaan chhor jaata hai,.. iss pe apna dil rakh ke aaj yeh kahani khatam kar rahi hooN main yeh kaaghaz gawaH hai mere aansoo ka, mere dukh, meri takleef ka, mere har iss lamhe ka jab mujhe mere marne ka gumaan hua tha, magar phir bhi dekho na main aaj bhi zinda hooN kyuNke koi kisi ke liye nahiN mara karta,.. koi kisi ke liye nahiN jiya karta,..main jaanti hooN aik din tumheiN meri mohabat ka ehsaas hoga aur tumheiN meri kami, meri zaroorat mehsoos hogi magar bohar der ho chuki hogi. Main bohat door jaa chuki hongi itni door ke sadyoN ki musaafat bhi qareeb na laa sake gi.... kyuNke in lamhoN meiN tumheiN hisaab dena hoga...

Mere aik aik aansoo ka, meri rooH ke zakhmoN ka, meri jaagti raatoN ka, mere aik aik din, aik aik pal ka hisaab dena hoga tumheiN,...

yeh sochte hi main kaanp uth ti hooN,... dard se bilak uth ti hooN ke jaan tum uss pal kitna dard, kitni aziyat mehsoos karo ge,... bhari mehfil meiN bhi tanhayee mehsoos karo ge,... jeena chaho ge par ji na sako ge, marna chaho ge par mar na sako ge,.. khuda na kare ke tum pe wo karab o aziyat ke lamhe aayeiN,... Khuda wo lamhe bhi mere hisse meiN likh de bas itni si dua hai apne rab se.

"Are aini beta!... tum yahaN kya kar rahi ho, bahir sab tumko pooch rahe haiN. tumhare sasural wale bhi bas kuch der meiN aane waale haiN aur kya likhne baith gayee ho tum ab yahaN!".... sayda begum pyar ne beti ke sar pe haath rakhte hue kaha. "Acha ami aap chaleiN main aati hooN"
Aini ne aahistagi se kaha aur khat ko kuch der dekhti rahi jaise koi faisla karna chah rahi ho aur phir agle hi lamhe wo khat luqma e aatish daan ban gaya.

[decent_billa]

[dia]

ASSSALAM-O-ALEYKUM,



D!@(SPRE@D!NG ROSHN!)

[I Am In Love]

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very nice ...............................

[I Am In Love]

Originally posted by kanwal_khushboo




YaadeiN azaab hoti haiN,.....

Mujhe agar yaad hai to bas itna,...ke tumne mujhe apni majbooriyoN ka rona roke thukraaya tha,...Mujhe yaad hai to bas itna ke tumne mere ehsaasaat o jazbaat ko nazar andaaz kiya tha...Kya bhool gaye wo aakhri mulaqaat?,.... HaaN....tumn kyuN yaad rakho ge wo to mujhe yaad hai aur aaj bhi mere taswar ki vaadiyoN meiN jab wo parchhaiyaN lehraati haiN to dil ke samandar meiN kayee talaatum umadne lagte haiN.
uss pal jab maine tumheiN rokna chaha tha magar lafz the ke saath chhor gaye aur main tumheiN jaane se na rok paayee. mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai wo lamha jab mera dil chah raha tha ke tumhara haath pakar ke rok looN ke please na jaoN. main kaise jiyoN gi tum bin ,.. khudaara mujh pe itna zulm mat karo..... tumne mujhe apni zindagi kaha tha. aaj tumhari zindagi tumheiN pukaarti hai,... khudaara na jao... main mar jaaoNgi tum bin magar tum ik pather ki tarah sirf sunte rahe.
tumheiN na mere aansoo rok sake aur na meri aaheiN tumhare paaoN ki zanjeer ban sakeiN. Main kaise bhulaa dooN wo lamhe jab maine ghar tak ka safar sadyoN ki musaafat meiN te kiya tha, kis tarah aaj bhool jaaoN wo lamha jab ghar meiN main nahiN balke aik zinda laash dakhil hui thi.... jaan thi ke jism se meri unglyoN ki poroN meiN aa ruki thi aur yuN lagta tha jaise in poroN se jaaN nikle gi aur main wahiN dam tor dooNgi.....
magar dekho na...... kambakht yeh jaan bhi na nikli tum bin,....

Mujh se kehte ho main bhool jaaoN..... bolo meri jaan! kaise bhool jaaoN main wo lamha jab tumhare jaane se mere qadmoN ne mera saath chhor diya aur mera chalna doobhar ho gaya. Kaise bhool jaaoN ke ghar pohnchte haiN bistar pe yuN giri main ke jaise ab uthooN gi hi nahiN,...

main kya hooN? kiyonN hooN? kahaN hooN kuch bhi to hosh nahiN raha mujhe,.... Mujhse kehte ho main bhool jaaoN kaise bhool sakti hooN kayee din mohabat ki aag meiN jal ke guzaare ke raakh ho gayee ,.... tum ne mujhe zindagi, jaan kaha tha magar dekho na?..... jaan kehna kitna asaan hai...aur samjhna kitna mushkil... tum mujhe jaan samjhte to iss tarah mujhe zinda dargor na kar dete .... jaan to maine tumheiN samjha tha..... Zindagi to maine tumheiN banaaya tha. meri khaamishi ko tumne humesha haaN samjha jab ke khamoshi majboori ka naam bhi hua karta hai..... main humesha har baar khamosh rahi ke shayed tum khud samjh jao,... tum mere dard meri takleef ko jaan jao,... mere dil ki nanhi nanhi khahishoN ko samjh jao,...magar afsos sad afsos ke na tum meri ankahi samjh sake aur na meri kahi.... Na mera dard samjh sake aur na meri takleef ki khabar hui tumheiN... tum jo kaha karte the ke jaan tumheiN main tumse ziyada jaanta hooN samjhta hooN....

teri har ankahi ko mera dil pechaanta hai magar itni si baat na tum samjh sake ke mohabat jitni gehri hoti hai. Isske chheene jaane ka khauf bhi itna hi gehra hota hai. Tum itni si baat na jaan sake ke mohabat ka satoon aitbar par hota hai aur tumne issi satoon ko tor diya. tumhare jhoot ne sab kuch tor diya..... tum lamha ba lamha, lehza ba lehza mujh se jhoot bolte rahe .apne jhoot ko sach banaane ki khaatir tumne mujhe ghalt saabit kar diya.... tumheiN maine ameen banaaya tha magar......

Dil,..aitbaar,...baat,...har waaada, kisi ka bhi to paas na raha tumheiN...kaash ke tumheiN wadoN ka paas hota, apni kahi baatoN ka paas hota, kaash tumheiN meri har baat jo amaanat thi tumhare paas uska paas hota, humari mohabat ka paas hota... magar tumheiN kiyonkar ho sakta hai tumne to yeh seekha hi nahiN....

tumheiN to mere aansoo khushi dete rahe, tumhare dil ko to yeh dekh kar taskeen pohnchti rahi ke koi dil o jaaN se tumheiN chahta hai. tumhare liye rota hai,... girgiraata hai,... haath jod ke iltija karta hai,.. mohabat ki bheek maangta hai aur tum pather ke devta ki tarah mere naazuk dil pe waar karte rahe aur main kisi paagal pujaaran ki taraH tumheiN poojti rahi bina yeh soche samjhe ke pather sirf zakhm de sakte haiN,... zakhmoN pe marham nahiN rakh sakte. main be los pujaaran ban ke pooja karti rahi tumse kabhi kuch na maanga tumheiN dekh dekh kar jeeti rahi, tumheiN kya pasand hai kya na pasand sab ka khiyaal rakhti rahi, tumhari khushi ko apni khushi samjha,... tumhare gham ko apna gham samjha. tumhari har baat ko apni zaat tak mehdood rakha, tumhari har baat ko tumhari amaanat samjha.

APne dil ka sab ehwaal kaha. tumheiN apna samjha apni shakhsiyat ka aks samjha lekin phir bhi tumne ji bhar ke mujhe dukh diye. meri mohabat ka mazaaq bana gaye tum aur mujhe zinda maar gaye ... magar apne zoam meiN tum yeh bhool gaye the ke tumhari pujaaran ne mohabat meiN mitna to seekha hai, par apni aur apni mohabat ki tazleel karna nahiN.... tum bhool gaye ke nafrat bhi issi se hua karti hai jis se kabhi sab se ziyada mohabat hua kare. aur tum achi tarah jaante ho ke aurat agar toot kar mohabat karna jaanti hai to is se bardh kar nafrat karna bhi jaanti hai. aur aaj mujhe tumse tumhari har baat se nafrat hai tumhare khiyaal se , tumhari zaat se nafrat hai,... main tumse kitni nafrat mehsooos karti hooN tum khud se isska andaaza bhi nahiN kar sakte.... aur sab se barh kar mujhe khud se nafrat hai ke maine tumheiN chaha tumheiN jo kabhi meri aankhoN meiN tumhare taswar se hi kayee deep jal uth te the. shayed aaj tum in aankhoN meiN chhupi nafrat seh na sako.... kaash main bhi be wafa larkiyoN ki taraH sab kuch bhulaa deti aur apni nayee zindagi ka aghaaz kar leti magar main iss dil ka kya karti jo sirf tumhare naam se dharkana jaanta tha..... Mera khuda jaanta hai ke iss meiN meri koi ghalti na thi, yeh mohabat karna na karna apne bas
meiN kab hota hai... jaane kis se kahaN kyuN aur kab ho jaaye aur dil ko kisi ki kaunsi adaa bhaa jaaye yeh to diloN ke maamle hua karte haiN na?,...

Magar tum kya jaano..... tumne to kabhi mujh se mohabat ki hi na thi.... na kabhi tumko meri chaahat thi.....na kabhi tumko meri tadap hui. aur kabhi tumko meri khahish thi hi nahiN aur na kabhi tumko meri zaroorat hui......Par main kyuN apne dil ka haal keh rahi hooN yeh sab tum ko kyuN likh rahi hoon???.....

Jab main tumheiN yeh khat post karne jaaongi hi nahiN. to kyuN apne dil ka dard kaaghaz pe undel rahi hooN shayed iss liye ke mujhe aaj bhi tumse mohabat hai ...... shayes iss liye ke main chaah kar bhi tumse nafrat na kar saki..... ya phir iss liye ke yeh kaaghaz tumse behtar hai kyuNke yeh mera dard apne andar samo le ga, isse apna samjhe ga isse apni zaat meiN khabo le ga.... haaN yeh kaaghaz tumse behtar hai jo mera saathi hai mera raazdaaN hai,...Mera jeene ka sahaara hai, wafaa ka paas rakhna isse aata hai yeh mit to sakta hai,..jal to sakta hai,..phat to sakta hai magar iss pe dil ki tarah jo aik baar likh diya jaaye woh mit nahiN sakta.... mitaa bhi diya jaaye to bhi nishaan chhor jaata hai,.. iss pe apna dil rakh ke aaj yeh kahani khatam kar rahi hooN main yeh kaaghaz gawaH hai mere aansoo ka, mere dukh, meri takleef ka, mere har iss lamhe ka jab mujhe mere marne ka gumaan hua tha, magar phir bhi dekho na main aaj bhi zinda hooN kyuNke koi kisi ke liye nahiN mara karta,.. koi kisi ke liye nahiN jiya karta,..main jaanti hooN aik din tumheiN meri mohabat ka ehsaas hoga aur tumheiN meri kami, meri zaroorat mehsoos hogi magar bohar der ho chuki hogi. Main bohat door jaa chuki hongi itni door ke sadyoN ki musaafat bhi qareeb na laa sake gi.... kyuNke in lamhoN meiN tumheiN hisaab dena hoga...

Mere aik aik aansoo ka, meri rooH ke zakhmoN ka, meri jaagti raatoN ka, mere aik aik din, aik aik pal ka hisaab dena hoga tumheiN,...

yeh sochte hi main kaanp uth ti hooN,... dard se bilak uth ti hooN ke jaan tum uss pal kitna dard, kitni aziyat mehsoos karo ge,... bhari mehfil meiN bhi tanhayee mehsoos karo ge,... jeena chaho ge par ji na sako ge, marna chaho ge par mar na sako ge,.. khuda na kare ke tum pe wo karab o aziyat ke lamhe aayeiN,... Khuda wo lamhe bhi mere hisse meiN likh de bas itni si dua hai apne rab se.

"Are aini beta!... tum yahaN kya kar rahi ho, bahir sab tumko pooch rahe haiN. tumhare sasural wale bhi bas kuch der meiN aane waale haiN aur kya likhne baith gayee ho tum ab yahaN!".... sayda begum pyar ne beti ke sar pe haath rakhte hue kaha. "Acha ami aap chaleiN main aati hooN"
Aini ne aahistagi se kaha aur khat ko kuch der dekhti rahi jaise koi faisla karna chah rahi ho aur phir agle hi lamhe wo khat luqma e aatish daan ban gaya.

[Neo]

bohot khooooooooob :o)

[OneNonly raima]

very nice an touchy........

[Neo]

achaaaa jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

[Emblem99]

very nic NEO and pari :)

[Hasan99]

Bohat Khoob Kanwal .. where r u now a days?

[Enigma]

Very Nice And Touchy............