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20-02-2008, 05:06 PM
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| Jokes!!! Newton Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching..... Everyone starts hiding except Newton......... Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........ Einstein says "newton's out..newton's out....." Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......" All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton. Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......! ,_
__________________  So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night Last edited by freeek; 20-02-2008 at 05:09 PM.  |
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20-02-2008, 05:15 PM
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| A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport then could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain His financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big time. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blow job on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver in line.
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:21 PM
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| Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla , and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:22 PM
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| How was wire invented? Two lawyers pulling on a penny.
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:31 PM
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| Doctor: Santa Singh: My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold. Banta Singh: Does it work? Santa Singh: I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:31 PM
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| Lie Detector: An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "All right, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:32 PM
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| Train Journey: Once a Sardarji was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:35 PM
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| Jimmy's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a poor paper. "This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read," ranted the teacher. "It has too many mistakes. I can't understand how one person would have made all these mistakes." "One person didn't," replied Little Jimmy defensively. "My father helped me."
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:37 PM
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| One student couldn't be motivated to take an interest in science at all. He said, "I plan to go into the business. Name me one thing science has done to help business." The teacher shot back, "And just where would the belt industry be without the law of gravity."
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:37 PM
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| A soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following: ''Regret cannot remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others.''
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:38 PM
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| This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:40 PM
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| 1960 Girl: Pehla pehla pyaar hai chahee bahaar hai, aja sajna tera intzar hai. 2008 girl : dusara/tisra pyar hai, dil bekarar hai aja mere payaray sajna verna chautha tayyar hai
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:40 PM
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| Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, zor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:46 PM
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| Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back later. BEEP. (Pause three seconds.) Just kidding, that wasn't really the beep. Are you ready now?
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:47 PM
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| One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race. What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar:!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:47 PM
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| Sardar ki maut bijli girnay say hoi per us ki lash muskuratay hoay mili logon ne pocha aisa kiun? to sardar bola "mai nu laga koi photo khinch raiya ae"
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:48 PM
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| Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter! At 25th floor: I'm unmarried! At 10th floor: I'm Banta not Santa
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:49 PM
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| The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 05:59 PM
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| Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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20-02-2008, 06:00 PM
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| Pathan wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving.. !!!!!!
__________________ So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night |
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