[Tyson]

President Bush went to a school to interact with the children. After having
one brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any question to
ask him.

One boy raised his hand and stood up;
Bush: whats your name
John: john
Bush: whats your question
Johm: sir I have three questions

1) why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO
2) where is osama
3) why does America support Pakistan so much

Bush: you are an intelligent student john....(just then the bell for recess
rang)
oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.

After the recess

Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?

Peter raises his hand
Bush :Whats your name?
Peter : sir I have 5 questions.
1) why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO
2) where is osama
3) why do America support Pakistan so much
4) why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time
5) where is JOHN?

[Tyson]

General Musharaf, Vajpayee, Aishwarya Rai and Margaret Thatcher are sitting in a train

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap

The train comes out of the tunnel. Both women and Gen Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed

Vajpayee is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap

All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything

Thatcher is thinking:
"These Indians are all crazy after Aishwarya. Vajpayee must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Aishwarya is thinking:
"Vajpayee must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped"

Vajpayee is thinking:
"Damn it, Musharraf must have tried to kiss Aishwarya, she must have thought it was me and slapped my face"


Musharraf is thinking:
"If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Vajpayee again"

[Tyson]

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says "Yes".

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder ."

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder .."

[Tyson]

Husband on his death bed confesses to his wife
" I had n affair with your sister, your best friend n the maid.."

Wife: I know darling, now just relax and let the poison work..

[Tyson]

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given infront of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Madrasi:-'No no,I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'.

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR

[Tyson]

Doo Pathan mar gai aik ka nam yaseen aur dusray ka Nam Ikhlas tha

to jab woo upper Pohanchay too Farishtay ne jab pehly se us ka nam pucha

to pehly Wale ne kaha k ikhlas to farishtay ne kaha k Surat ikhlas to sunao

us ne Surat suna di to Farishtay ne kaha acha ab tm jao

jab farishtay ne Dusray se us ka nam pucha to us ne kaha k

"wese to Mera nam yaseen hai per log hm KO pyar se koosar Kehte hain"

[Tyson]

2 rohain asman pr pohanchi to dusry rooh ne pehly Rooh sey pucha Tm kese Mary
pehly ne kaha May hairat se Mara hu.. pehly ne dusray se pucha Tm kis tarha maray ho?
dusray nain kaha Tahnd se.... Dusray ne phley se pucha Tum hairat se kese Maray ho?
pehly ne kaha Mein aik din office se ghar Lota to darwazy k pass mein ne suna k
meri biwi Kisi gair mard sey batain kar rahi hai. Mein ne ghusay Se dawaza katkataya
to mery biwi ne darwaza khoola To may ne us se pucha K tm kis se batain kr Rahin thee?
us ne kaha Mein ne to kisi se b baat Nai ki to may ne ghar mein us shakas ko dhundna shuroo Kr dia.
mein ne beds k nechay, perday k pechay har Kahin usay dhunda per woo mughay Na Mila
to mein Hairat se mar Gaya Kun k mein ne usay batay kartay Suna tha.
Pehly ki kahani sun kar dusra fooran gusay Sey bola
Agar tum freg khol kar deekh letay to Na mein Tahnd sey Marta, aur Na tum hairat sey!

[Tyson]

Sardar ji ka beta sardar ji say:
" Papa 5 + 5 kitnay hotay hain? "

Sardar:
" ullu, gadhay, idiot, nalayak, besharam;
tujhay kuch nahi aata, ja andar say calculator la "

[Tyson]

1 Memon larka aur Memon larki ko aik dusre se pyar ho gya.

1 din larki ne kaha k jab mera baap so jay ga to mai 1 sika phenku gi, tum andar aa jana.

Rat ko larki ne sika phenka lekin larka sika phenkne k 1 ghante k bad aya,

larki ne poocha k itni dair se kyon aye ho to bola.

'wo mai sika dhoond raha tha mila hi nai'

Larki boli 'pagal wo to mai ne dhaga bandh k phenka tha'

[Tyson]

A sardar ji said to a girl: please love me

The girl replied very rudely: tumhain love karnay say pehlay main mar na jaoun..

Sardar said: Mar jana kisi gareeb de kaam na ana

[Kool Guy]

Originally Posted by Tyson

General Musharaf, Vajpayee, Aishwarya Rai and Margaret Thatcher are sitting in a train

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap

The train comes out of the tunnel. Both women and Gen Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed

Vajpayee is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap

All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything

Thatcher is thinking:
"These Indians are all crazy after Aishwarya. Vajpayee must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Aishwarya is thinking:
"Vajpayee must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped"

Vajpayee is thinking:
"Damn it, Musharraf must have tried to kiss Aishwarya, she must have thought it was me and slapped my face"


Musharraf is thinking:
"If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Vajpayee again"

hahahaha lols

[Kool Guy]

Originally Posted by Tyson

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given infront of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Madrasi:-'No no,I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'.

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR

lols .. hehehe

[Kool Guy]

Originally Posted by Tyson

2 rohain asman pr pohanchi to dusry rooh ne pehly Rooh sey pucha Tm kese Mary
pehly ne kaha May hairat se Mara hu.. pehly ne dusray se pucha Tm kis tarha maray ho?
dusray nain kaha Tahnd se.... Dusray ne phley se pucha Tum hairat se kese Maray ho?
pehly ne kaha Mein aik din office se ghar Lota to darwazy k pass mein ne suna k
meri biwi Kisi gair mard sey batain kar rahi hai. Mein ne ghusay Se dawaza katkataya
to mery biwi ne darwaza khoola To may ne us se pucha K tm kis se batain kr Rahin thee?
us ne kaha Mein ne to kisi se b baat Nai ki to may ne ghar mein us shakas ko dhundna shuroo Kr dia.
mein ne beds k nechay, perday k pechay har Kahin usay dhunda per woo mughay Na Mila
to mein Hairat se mar Gaya Kun k mein ne usay batay kartay Suna tha.
Pehly ki kahani sun kar dusra fooran gusay Sey bola
Agar tum freg khol kar deekh letay to Na mein Tahnd sey Marta, aur Na tum hairat sey!

nice 1

[Kool Guy]

thread Moved To Jokes Section

[Faraz]

kia baat hai tysonnnnnnnnnnnn
keep it yaaaaar

[Tyson]

This is a crime story..
5 friends lives in a room..
Namely

MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY

One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY
At that time Brain was in the bathroom
MAD called the police

MAD: is it the police station?

POLICE: Yes; whats the matter?

MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY

POLICE: Are U MAD?

MAD: Yes, I am MAD

POLICE: Do you hane a brain?

MAD: No; BRAIN is in the bathroom

POLICE: You fool!!!

MAD: No; FOOL is reading this text..

[Kool Guy]

[Zaino]

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he is a DEA agent and the dog is a "sniffing dog". His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."

The plane takes off, and once it has leveled out, the agent says "Watch this. He tells Sniffer to "search".

Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for a several seconds. Sniffer then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent says, "Good boy", and he turns to the man and says: That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I 'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."

"Say, that's pretty neat" replies the first man.

Once again, the agent sends Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm. The agent says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I m making a note of his seat number for the police."

"I like it!" says his seat mate.

The agent then told Sniffer to "search" again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while,sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop all over the place.
The first man is really grossed out by this behavior and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would act like that, so he asks the agent,

"What's going on?...."




The agent nervously replied,





"He just found a bomb!".....

[Tyson]

Ek aadmi k pas jin tha,
jin bola "Aaqa" mujhy koi huqm dain.
Aaqa replayed : Yaar mery ghar say Amrica tak aik Road banao.
Jin : Aaqa ye mushkil kaam hay, resty hain darya atye hain, pahar atye hain, jungal aty hain, abadiyan atye hain, samundar bhi ata hay, Bohat mushkil hay, kuch or huqam daein...
us bandy nay bohat soocha then he said Yaar meri B.V ko mera farmaberdaar bana day..
Jin foran bola "Road single banani hay ya double"

[pinky@punjabi]

nice collection
gud going
God bless ya