| Register | Members | Radio & TV | Games | Quran | Calendar | Search |
| J O K E S !!! Share your jokes and laughters in this forum. |
 |
| LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
04-09-2007, 08:36 AM
| |||
| |||
| JoKeS & jOkEs A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time." The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London. When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss. " The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" . " The only thing is ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............ ... ............... ............... ............... ....... ........ ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... .............. ............... .............. ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... ............... I just quit drinking!!! 
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~  |
| Sponsored Links |
|
04-09-2007, 08:42 AM
| |||
| |||
| Before and After Marriage Before the marriage: ----------------- He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me ? He: Of course! She: Have you ever cheated on me? He: Yes! She: Will you hit me? He: No way! I'm not such kind of person! She: Can I trust you? He: Yes. ---------------- Now after the marriage you can read it from bellow to up, start with second last line :) !!!!   
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
04-09-2007, 09:31 AM
| |||
| |||
 ..... 2nd one is tooooooo gud  |
|
04-09-2007, 07:45 PM
| ||||
| ||||
| hahaha good jee thanks for sharing
__________________  l||l • Kamii • l||l |
|
11-09-2007, 09:17 AM
| |||
| |||
| Essay On Poor Family.... Once in a kindergarten, a teacher asked all students to write an essay on the topic "A Poor Family". One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay. The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as....... She wrote: Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, do bachey they, who bhi bahut gareeb they!! Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they. Ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha. 3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, aur uppar se ghar mein 1 saal se paint nahi hua tha!! Family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, Ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they!!! All in all , bahut hi gareeb family thi!!
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
11-09-2007, 02:18 PM
| |||
| |||
| Magician and parrot There was this magician who had a job on a cruise liner, entertaining the passengers with a nightly show. He was very successful in his job and there was always a full house at all his performances. Life was sweet. The money was rolling in, he had one of the best cabins, ate the best food, mixed with the best people. All was fine until one day the captain bought a parrot. The highlight of the parrot's day was going along to see the magician in action in the evening. During the magician's performances, the parrot would watch him very carefully during each trick, and immediately after the magician had completed the trick the parrot would call out in a loud squark, " It's up his sleeve, it's up his sleeve," or, " It's down his trousers, it's down his trousers," each time ruining the magician's trick. Well life was no longer as sweet and the magician started to struggle to satisfy the passengers. The magician naturally got very tired of the parrot and longed to kill it. Then one night in the middle of the magician's performances, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone was killed except for the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage, climbed aboard and collapsed. The parrot flew towards the magician and perched on the edge of the raft and stared at the magician. For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot did not take his eyes off him. Eventually the magician started to stir, and looked up not really knowing where he was or what had happened. He eventually found enough energy to sit up. He then noticed the parrot, who had not stopped focusing his eyes on him all this time. "All right I give up ..." chirped the parrot, "... What have you done with the ship ?" 
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
11-09-2007, 02:20 PM
| |||
| |||
| A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!  
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
13-09-2007, 02:11 PM
| |||
| |||
| lol ......................... |
|
13-09-2007, 09:33 PM
| ||||
| ||||
| Nice jee yeh kya kar diya hain admint na ajeeb forum kar diya
__________________ l||l • Kamii • l||l |
|
17-09-2007, 12:41 PM
| |||
| |||
| A Punjabi "LOVE LETTER" Dear meri dil ki katori, Mai kya ji, it was ji very well since the time I put my eyes on you at Bunty's wedding. The parrots flew out of my hands, when u turned like a truck on a blind curve and smiled at me. Now I see ur face everywhere, even in my chicken-curry. The butter chicken reminds me your sweet voice. Mai kya ji, would you be the butter on my naan and the chicken in my curry of life....!!!! Koi gal nahi, take ur time but don't put the foot on the Brakes of my love ji. What to do, I to have started thinking about Shaadi-Vaadi. Karao maat wait, say yes for a date! Bale Balle ...... 
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
18-09-2007, 03:02 AM
| ||||
| ||||
| haha agian nice
__________________ l||l • Kamii • l||l |
|
27-09-2007, 09:50 AM
| |||
| |||
| Kidnapping by a sardar > There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some > money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. > > He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and > told > him, "I've kidnapped you." > > Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. > > Tomorrow morning, put Rs.200,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the > mango tree on the north side of the city playground". > > Signed: "A Sardarji". > > Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to > show it to his parents. > > > The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was > kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. > Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.200,000 in cash with a note > saying: > > "How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and > Please leave my son." > Signed: Another Sardarji
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
06-10-2007, 08:50 AM
| |||
| |||
| 1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED. 2. Three FASTEST means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tell to Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE. 3. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. 4. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life. 5. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE. 6. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL. 7. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake. 8. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
06-10-2007, 09:28 PM
| ||||
| ||||
| Quote:
__________________ RULES & DETAILS OF UNFORGETABLE http://forum.kalpoint.com/gupshup-fo...ml#post1349581 UNFOGETTABLE NEWS ROOM : http://forum.kalpoint.com/gupshup-fo...news-room.html  koolanni6@hotmail.com & koolanni6@yahoo.com |
|
07-10-2007, 12:41 AM
| ||||
| ||||
| Quote:
Bohat tyt !!! 
__________________ |
|
09-10-2007, 10:09 AM
| |||
| |||
| Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. *************** "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?" "Yes, of course..." "Great! I never could before!" *************** A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" And the man replies, "No, just spots." 
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
09-10-2007, 06:51 PM
| ||||
| ||||
| Quote:
very nice Zeeee
__________________ l||l • Kamii • l||l |
|
09-10-2007, 06:52 PM
| ||||
| ||||
| Quote:
__________________ l||l • Kamii • l||l |
|
11-10-2007, 08:39 AM
| |||
| |||
| A Love Letter from HR Executive...... Dearest Ms Juliet, I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer. Thanking you in anticipation, Yours sincerely, Romeo ( HR Executive )
__________________ ~~~zzZZEEee~~~ |
|
14-10-2007, 04:31 AM
| ||||
| ||||
| Quote:
Fantastic...Zabardast joke..
__________________ "How do I say gud bye to some1 I neva had... Why do tears fall 4 some1 who neva was mine... Y is it.. I miss someone I was neva with...!?! |
|
| Bookmarks |
