[MirzaKamran]

Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.

Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
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* What is the full form of singh
s-sardar i-insaan n-nahi g-gadha h-hai.
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* Sardar's son: mom kal raat ko vapas vaisa hi hua bathroom jane ke
liye darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi.
Mom: tenu kitni baar bola ki fridge ****a mat kiya kar.
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* What is the chemical formula 4 water?
Sardar: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u talking abt?
Sardar:Yesterday u said H to O.
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* Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga. mita dunga.. mita
dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga.
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*Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?
Banta singhost office.
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* .A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldn't answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
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* Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me
a ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "What's ur phone no?"
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* A sardar goes 2 a hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his hands, but
start washing the basin
Manager:What r u doing?
Sardar: U have written here "WASH BASIN."

[MirzaKamran]

80,000 sardars meet in the gurunanak stadium, for a " Sardars Are Not stupid " Convention.

The leader says, " We are all here today to prove to the world that Sardars are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer ? "

A sardar gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15 ? "

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, " Eighteen ! "

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance ! "

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the worldwide press and global broadcast media here, uh, I guess we can give him another chance.

" So he asks, " What is 5 plus 5 ? " After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, " Ninety ? "

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh - everyone is disheartened, the sardar starts crying and the 80,000 sardars begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, " GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE ! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE ! "

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more ha than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance "

What is 2 plus 2 ? The surdar closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, " Four ? ".

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 surdies jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ..

..............................................

......................................

................................

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....................

................

..............

............

..........

........

....

..

and says

" GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE ! "

" GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE ! "

[MirzaKamran]

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out
of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
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Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's
leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me
the menu card.
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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog"
is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!


Father:Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!
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Manager : Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't
need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact, I'm just the right
person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!
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Dad : "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and
say sorry to her."
Son :(goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid.
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Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such masterpieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or
not 2B."
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"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any
brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of
her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u told
her u are the only child?" "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"

Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
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Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."
Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't
miss it!"
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A teacher was asking her class: "What is the
difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only
one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan," said the
teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't
allow and 'illegal is a sick eagle."
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Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news
first.
Doctor : The lab called with your test results. They
said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient : 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's
the very bad news? Doctor : I've been trying to reach you since
yesterday.
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Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor : You've had an accident involving a train.
Patient : What happened?

Doctor : Well, I've got some good
news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient : Well... The bad news first ..
Doctor : Your legs were injured so badly that we had
to amputate both of them.
Patient : That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very
good offer on your slippers.
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Patient : How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist : -90.00.
Patient : -90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist : I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."
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A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father. "My marks are
under water," said the boy. "What do u mean 'under water'?" "They
are all below 'C' level