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11-05-2008, 02:30 AM
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| My SMS Collection. sardaraan, memon hazraat aur pathano say ma'aazrat kay saath...plz take these lightly...dont take it personally! jazakAllah khayr. Allah sabko apnay hifz-o-amaan mein rakhay. ameen. wassalam. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Allah nay "Maa" ko ye azmat-e-kamaal dee Uski dua pe her museebat bhee taal dee Quran nay "Maa" k pyaar ki is terhaa misaal dee Kay Jannat utha kay "Maa" kay qadmo mein daal dee ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- While we were learning to speak, Mom understood everything we tried to say... Today we say a lot; and claim... "Mom! u dont uNdErStaNd!! " How life chanGes! "Love ur parEnTs!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - M= Moon of Love O= OcEan of SyMpaThy T= TreaSure of SincEriTy H= HeaVen of PeaCe E= EveNing of KinDness R= RivEr of ForGivenEss That's what MOTHER is all about! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- English Teacher: "A cute girl is walking on the road". Change this to exclaimatory sentence. Student: Oh my God! What a PiEcE!!~ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - So many options to die: Poison Sleeping Pills Hanging Jumping off from a building Lying on railway tracks BUT.... We all choose "MaRrIaGe".. .sLoW and SuRe!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Tufani barish mein raat ko shop per ek admi pizza lenay aya... Shopkeeper: Aap shadi shuda hein? Aadmi: Is tufani barish mein kia meri maa mujhay pizza lenay bhejaygee? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- 1st SARDAR: yaar, kal mein bathroom gaya tou wahaan shayr (lion) tha 2nd SARDAR: hainn! phir tumnay kia kiya!? 1st SARDAR: kuch nahee, meinay shayr say kaha aap kerlo, meri tou nikal gayee hai! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- When SoMeOnE touches u & u DoNt feel it It's IgNoRaNcE When SoMeOnE touches u & u fEeL it It's LoVe When NoBoDy touches u & u fEeL it Then it's NoThInG but KhUjLi ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- When ur life is in darkness , pray to Allah and ask for relief from darkness. If u've prayed and ur still in darkness then realize that " ur in KaRaChI "!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Santa found an answer to the most difficult question ever... Q: "What comes first; The chIckEn or The EgG?: "O yaar! jiska order pehlay dogay wohi ayega naa!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Intelligence is like an underwear, it's important that u have it but not necessary that u show it! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Is matlab ki dunya mein kaun kisi ka hota hai Sms bhee wohi kerta hai, jiska free package hota hai Magar sabko pata hai kay Kanjooso k liyay free bhee mehenga hota hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- New punishment for mobile owners: Sms k liyay 5 saal jail Misscall k liyay umerqaid Call kay liyay phaansi Tum mat daro... Kanjooso k liyay 10 Lakh ka inaam hai! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Jahaan ki khilwat mein zulul nahee ayga Gham-e-toheen say qubul nahee ayega Maklul ki ibrat hai yeh qurfa ghalib ......... Dimagh kharaab ho jayega per yeh shayr samajh nahee ayega ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- 3 Sardaar bed pe so rahe thay..un teeno ko theek say jaga nahee mil rahee thee phir 1 sardar neechay sonay laga 2nd sardar: oye! ab jaga hogayee hai, ooper aja! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Pakistan ki awaam ko kitni khushyaan mili? 1. Bijli jaanay kay baad Bijli anay ki khushi 2. Line mein khara ho ker kabhee kabhi Aata mil janay ki khushi 3. Saaray din kay baad raat kay 11 bajay Gas anay ki khushi 4. Bazaar say shopping kerkay Bomb Blast say bach ker Zinda gher wapis anay ki khushi ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- "Laziness is our biggest enemy".....( Allama Iqbal) "We shud learn to love our enemies".... .(Quaid-e- Azam) Lo Dasso! Hun kidi maniye? Mamu di ya Chachu di? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- Aik family nay sHoLaY film dekhi. Gher a ker shoher mazaaq mein biwi say bola, "Naach Basanti Naach!" bacha zor say bola, "BASANTI! IS KUTTAY k SAAMNAY MAT NAACHNA!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- What is a mobile? ? ? R u seriously looking for an answer? ye haath mein kia ChApPaL pakri hui hai? kaisay kaisay namoonay hein! Yehi MoBiLe hota hai!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ 3 fastest ways of communications: 1. Telephone 2. Television 3. Tell a wOmAn Need more speed? Also advise her "NoT tO tELL aNyOnE!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Q: What's the difference between CoMpLeTe and FiNiShEd? A: If u find a GoOd WiFe, ur CoMpLeTe, otherwise ur FiNiShEd!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Sardarni writes a message to sardar- "Ghar kab aogay message kerkay batao!" Sardar writes to her- "Nahi bata sakta, balance kam hai!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Aik thee *BILLI* Aur nahee hai........bass eik he thee! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Tum bhee likha kero shayari Tumhara bhee dUnYa mein naam ho jayega Loug phainkeingay AnDaY aur TiMaTeR Tou shaam ki sAbZi ka intezaam ho jayega ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Why dont dogs marry?? Because... Wo tou pehlay he say KuTtAy ki zindagee jee rahay hotay hein! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- BOY: Suit bauhat acha pehna hai GIRL: Thanks BOY: Lipstick bauhat achi lagayee hai GIRL: Thanks BOY: Makeup bhee bauhat acha kiya hai GIRL: Thanks "bHaYyA"! BOY: Phir bhee achi nahee lag rahee ho! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- Tungreyaan Tortri Hematorga Faragwani Tiein Tohna Ahayau Meno Tangzwera??? ? ? Uff meray sms kay dEeWaaNe! Kuch bhee bhejo, perhnay lag jatay hein ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Manager: From ur references, I see u have had 4 jobs in the last month. Applicant: Yes Sir, but doesnt that show how much in demand i am!?? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- 1 admi: Jab meray bachay hongay tou eik ko Karachi aur eik ko Lahore chor aoonga. Doosra bola wo kyu? Pehla admi: Kal TV per bata rahay thay kay bacho kay dermyaan waqfa zaroori hai! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Friendship is a "GiVe" and "TaKe" relationship. .. I hope u agree with this saying! So "GiVe" me a TrEaT and "TaKe" me to DinNer!... Ho gaya naa give and take! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Sardar: Excuse me! what time is it? Man: 3-15 Sardar: that's so weird! I have been asking this all day, and each time i get a different answer! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Jobs in mobilink Send in ur resume to jobs@Mobilink. com.pk Location: Isb/Khi Salary: 60,000 to 80,000 Job Nature: Mobile Tower k paas beth ker Telenor kay signals roknay hein ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Hijr kay azaabo say der lagta hai Mujhay apnay he khwaabo say der lagta hai Ka bhee tumnay eik banda maar diya Zalim! Mujhay teri juraabo say der lagta hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- New addition to the periodic table of chemical elements Element Name: Woman Symbol: WO Atomic Wt.: Dont even dare to ask Physical Properties: Generally boils at anything and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical Properties: Very reactive. Higly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, diamond and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- British: U know sWiMmiNg? Sardar: No Bristish: DoG is betTer than u, it SwiMs! Sardar: U know sWiMmiNg? British: yEs! Sardar: then what is the diFFereNce between u and a DoG? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A student was asked to write a signboard for the traffic rules near the college campus... He wrote: "Drive carefully! Dont kill the students, wait for the teachers!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Aray hamein tou apno nay mara Ghairo mein kahan damm tha Meri haddi bhee wahaan tooti Jahaan gosht kam tha Mujhe jis ambulance mein daala Uska peTroL khatam tha Mujhe rickshaw mein isliyay bithaya Q k uska kiraya kam tha Mujhe doctor nay uthaya Nurse mein kahaan damm tha Mujhe jis bed per litaya Uskay neechay BoMb tha Mujhay tou BoMb say Uraya Goli mein kahaan damm tha Mujhay sarad per dafnaya Q k us din qabrustan mein MQM ka function tha!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Thalaam Ye Et AITA sms Hai Jo Athe Bhale Intan To Totla Tal Deta Hai, Aap Laatt Toshish Talo Pil b Aite He Palo De... Tesa Lada Totla Ban Te?? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Dil tou chahta hai.... Jootay utaar kay... Chappal pehen loo!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- "EINSTIEN" went to court to prove that he's the most InTeLLiGenT and GenIuS person on earth. But he failed and came out angrily and asked.... yaar, yeh "kHaDiJa" kaun hai!??! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Sardar: perso mere abba kunwen mein gir gaye thay aur zor zor say chilla rahay thay "BACHAO BACHAO" 2nd: ab kaisay hein? 1st: theek he hongay, kal say koi awaaz nahee a rahee! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Wife to Doctor: Doctor, i think my husband has a fearful disease. i talk to him for hours and he doesnt hear a word I say. Doctor: That's not a disease, it's a GiFt!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Teacher: Tum late q aye? Student: Ammi abbu ler rahay thay. Teacher: Wo ler rahay thay, per TUM kyu late huay? Student: Kya kerta!? Mera eik joota ammi kay paas tha aur eik abu kay paas tha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Larka: Tumharee aankhein kitni haseen hein! Larki: Choro naa... Larka: Tumhare baal kitnay achay hein! Larki: Choro naa... Larka: Itni dayr say chor he tou raha hoo!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Salesman: Khan saab, cockroach ka powder logay kia? Pathan: Nahi, Hum cockroach k itnay laad nahee uthatay...Aaj powder dengay tou kal ko lipstick maangegay! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A man kills a DEER and cooks it and doesnt tell kids what it is!! He gives a clue..."It's something what ur MoM calls me..." Son screams..."Mat khana, KUTTA hai!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Santa asks Banta: Tujhay larki phasani atee hai??! Banta: nahee! Santa: Agar nahee atee tou seekh lay... Pehle eik kaghaz ka jahaaz bana... Phir usay class mein ura... Ma'am k poochnay per... Larki ka naam laga day... "BASS PHASS GAYEE LARKI!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A toilet is like a committee meeting. People come with a lot of pressure, sit, express their feelings. create a lot of noise, and finally drop the issue! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- How a American will tell his Desi servant to open the door?? Think.... Damagh larao... Okay then, say this really quick in American accent: "There was a cold day!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Every second God remembers you Every minute God blesses you Every hour God cares for you Becoz Everyday I pray to God... "KuRRi bevaqoof hai, thora khyaal rakhna!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A man catches a fish... Wife: Can't cook it due to... No Gas, No Electricity, No Aata & No Cooking Oil! Man puts the fish back in the river. Fish comes up & shouts: GEO MuShaRRaf!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Edison used to study in Small Lamp Graham Bell used to study in Candle Light Shakespeare used the Street Light ... Samajh nahee ata, Saalay din mein date maartay thay kia!? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A sardar jee's son: Dad! there is someone at the door to collect donation for a swimming pool Sardar:Give him a glass of water ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Yeh sms 500 lougo ko bhejein...inshaAlla h aapka balance khatam ho jayga! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Khudkush BoMber nay BoMb ka button dabaya...but dhamaka na hua aur wo bayhosh ho gaya . Jab hospital mein hosh aya aur nurse ko dekha tou kehnay laga: "BAQEE HOOREIN KIDHER HEIN!??" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- 9/11 ; PaKiStAn responsible 7/7 ; PaKiStaN responsible Mumbai Blast ; PaKiStaN responsible Rise of Taaliban ; PaKiStaN responsible North Korea Nuclear BomB ; PaKiStaN responsible ~ConcLusion~ Pakistan is the MOST reSponSibLe country of the world. so Love ur country and be a pRoUd PaKiStaNi! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Pathan ki girlfriend nay poocha: "Jab hamari mangni hogi tab tum mujhay eik ring dogay naa?" Pathan: "Wai, zaroor dayga! Batao PTCL pe day ya MoBiLe pe?" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Eik memon samander mein doob gaya ... Usne dua ki Ya Allah mujhay nikaal day, mein teree raah mein 1 chawal ki degh doonga... Eik leher nay isko baher nikal diya... Isnay baher a ker kaha... "Kon See Degh?" Foren eik Leher ayee aur usay wapis lay gayee Tou usne kaha, Ya Allah mein tou yeh pooch raha tha KONSI DEGH? ChIcKen ya bEEf? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Ek sheikh beemar hua aur khoon ki zaroorat pari Uskay memon dost nay usay khoon diya Sheikh nay khush ho ker memon ko latest model ki Mercedes car dee 2 saal baad sheikh beemar para Memon nay naye model ki gari ka soch ker phir khoon dia Sheikh nay is baar usay eik TIL ka Laddu bheja Memon nay poocha Sheikh pehaly tou Mercedes ab sirf Til ka Laddu? Sheikh nay kaha: "kia keroo? ab meri rago mein bhee eik Memon ka khoon dorta hai!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Apnay husn per itna ghuroor na ker Sab do din ki masti hai Tera husn bhee tak tak hai qayam jab tak FaIr&LoVeLy sasti hai! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Mareez: Mujhay beemari hai...Na khao tou bhook lagtee hai, Na so tou neend atee hai, aur zada kaam kerkay thak jata hoo Doctor: Saree raat dhoop mein betho, theek ho jaogay! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- You are so smart, so beautiful, so brilliant, so lovely, so cute... jee nahee jee Ammi kehtee hein, jo kehta hai wohi hota hai!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Mobiles per ek virus aya hai ager 04200000001 say koi call aye tou attend mat kerna warna insan ban jaogay...islamabad mein 2 gadhay insan ban gaye hein, so be careful, haan! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- SMS rates: In 2003: Rs.5 2004: Rs.4 2005: Rs.3 2006: Rs.2 2007: Re.1 2008: Free Ab bhee msg nahee karogay tou kia tab kerogay jab sms karnay kay paisay mileingay!? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Eik glass pani lo Usmein neem kay darakht kay phool dalo 2 ghantay k liyay rakhdo Phir 10 minute garam kerkay Thanda karne kay baad pee lo InshaAllah, Kanjoosi kay kEEray mer jayingay! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- An engineering student to his sweeper brother: "Meray paas degree hai, Knowledge hai, 4 lougo mein bethnay ki izzat hai...teray paas kia hai!??" Sweeper: "Meray paas naukri hai!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Today i decided to send u the most cutest & sweetest thing of the world... But the postman shouted at me... "Chal oyee!! Postbox say baher nikal!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- "Good looks catch the eyes But... Good personality catches the heart...u are blessed with both" now, dnt get excited!! it was sent to me, i just wanted u to share my popularity! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- take ur cell... Wash it Cut it in small pieces Fry it Add salt and pepper in it with some vinegar Now MoBiLe acHaaR is ready!! message tou aapsay hota nahee hai, tou cell ka achaar he daal lein! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A lil bird was flying in winter... the bird froze & fell on the ground.. A cow came by & dropped some dung on it Bird realized how warm it was & began to sing 4 joy A passing cat heard the bird singing & dug it out & ate it.. Lessons to Learn: 1. Not everyone who drops shit on u in ur enemy 2. Not everyone who gets u out of shit is ur friend 3. When ur in deep shit keep ur mouth shut!
__________________  l||l • Kamii • l||l  |
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